Mixed Emotions
by JHLPROJECT
Summary: Story is mostly in first person. Kyo is getting worried about Chiharu. He's been acting weird lately. Kyo's starting to have second thoughts about him. KyoXChiharu [Updated: Chapter 7 The Vacation] Discontinued, sorry.
1. These Feelings That I Can't Explain

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Girl Got Game. This simply came out of pure imagination. I'm sorry if you do not like my stories. I suggest you leave if you do not like them. Comments are appreciated.

Please enjoy this one.

**A/N**: This is my third fanfic. I was a slacker in the last two. I promise I'll try to finish this one.

Thank you.

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**Chapter 01**

Confused.

That the word of the day.  
This is how I feel.

Confused.

It has many meanings to it.  
Actually, it can _lead_ to many feelings.  
I have this _confused_ feeling.  
It either hurts or makes me feel giddy inside.  
It can even feel like nothing.

I do not like being confused.  
It hurts my head a lot.

I **need** you, Chiharu.  
I **love **you, Chiharu.

_But I'm afraid to tell you that. _

Please understand this.  
I love you.  
I am not sure if you love or even like me.  
There's a big gap between us and doesn't fill up.  
I feel sad because it never fills up.

_Chiharu..._

You're always distant.  
It worries me all the time.  
But you always get furstrated and mad at me.  
I was just asking if you were alright.

I feel _hurt_ confused.  
It hurts physically and mentally.

I'm afraid to look at you anymore.  
I'm afraid that if I look at you, you'll distant yourself even more.

I want you to be close to me as possible.

During the night, I hug myself to sleep.  
You're not there.  
You're in your bed.  
I want you to be next to me..  
..holding me in your arms.  
It feels warm.

Lately, the gap between us is getting more emptier by the minute.  
It makes me sad, depressed and stressed.  
I don't think I can go to sleep anymore.

You don't talk to me anymore.  
Not even during practice.

Is something the matter?  
What happen to Chiharu?

What happened to **my** Chiharu?


	2. It's Getting Harder and Harder

This is the second chapter. Enjoy!

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**Chapter 02**

Chiharu.

I miss you.  
You're leaving.  
Just for a week.  
That week feels long.  
I do not think I can bare it any longer.

**I LOVE YOU CHIHARU.**

It makes me sad that you do not understand this.  
Can you not see it is obvious to the blind?  
Can you not tell that I love you so much that I would die for you?

I grasp my chest and tell it to stop hurting.  
It would not listen to me.

Chiharu.. when are you coming back?

Can you at least call me once?  
Can you not see that I am in pain every single day?  
I'm disappointed.

What is wrong with you?  
Are you shy or embarrassed?  
Are you still mad at me?

If this continues, I'm definitely leaving.  
It hurts to much.  
I feel like I'm having a heart attack.

* * *

Chiharu. 

You came back.  
I was smiling so much for you.  
You weren't smiling.  
You frowned.

Why do you look at me with those disappointing eyes?  
It hurts so much.

You do not miss me?

I want to bawl my eyes out but nothing will come out.  
I think I cried too much during the week.  
I missed you so much that, that was the only thing I can do.

You're giving the most coldest stare I've ever seen.

Something wrong?  
Your eyes pierce through me like a bullet.  
And a shock comes through my body making me shiver.

I'm sad and gloomy.

What have you been doing the past week?

You've been distancing yourself further.  
It hurts, very.  
I do not think you'll care much when I leave in a couple of days.  
You better tell me what's wrong.  
I'm tired of this.

I'm sure you **hate** me.

But I do not want to think that.  
Do you not love or like me?

I want to hit myself right now.  
I should go and ask Yura what's wrong with him.  
Yeah, that's a good suggestion.

Thank the lord for a friend like **Yura**.


	3. Chat With Yura

Enjoy the next chapter!

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**Chapter 03**

I talked to Yura and the conversation went something like this.

" Hey Yura! " I tried to act in a happy mood.

" Hey, " There was a short pause in his voice. " What wrong with you eyes? They look swollen. "

_Oh crap. He can see them._

" No-Nothing. " I stammered.

He gave me the I'm-not-believing-you look. I gulped as he took a step in front of me. I just had to squirm back.

" Something's wrong. You're acting like you're afraid of me! " Yura cried.

" No I'm not! " I stomped my foot.

" Is that so? "

He had me cornered to a wall and I was pressing myself against it. He was so close to me that I could feel his breath. I gulped. I shut my eyes, afraid of knowing what he was going to do next. Then I felt a hand gently brush my forehead. I took a peek. Yura was getting the strands of my hair off my forehead. I felt myself getting hot. I shook my head.

He looked at me straight in the eye. " Something's definitely wrong with you. And you came here to see me for that, right? "

_Damn.. I hate it when he's always right._

I took a heavily sigh and looked down at my shoes. " So what? Nothing's wrong with me. I just have this.. problem. "

" Eniwa? "

I looked up in startled. " How'd you-? "

" It's pretty obvious to the blind. " He smiled.

I turned my head because I felt myself blush when I looked at him smile.

He sat down on the cold pavement and began, " Eniwa's been bugging you again? "

" Something like that, " I took a seat beside him and hugged my knees. " He hasn't been acting like himself. "

" Tell me about it. "

" Eh? "

" When me, him, and Hamaya went off for a week, he's been so distant. It seems like his in deep thought. "

" About what? "

" I don't know. " He let his hand run through his black hair.

" What could be wrong with him? He's been giving me these spine chilling stares. It gives me the creeps. " I grapped my arms to stop them from shaking.

" Spine chilling stares, eh? " He gave me a reassuring hug. " I guess he wasn't thinking about you. " He murmured.

" What? "

" Nothing. I was wondering, did he talk to you the past week? "

" No. He didn't call me and when he came back he didn't say anything. Even when we're practicing. "

" Try talking to him a little. I'm sure his under stress. "

" Stress? " I looked at Yura with disbelief.

" Yeah, I'm sure. "

" But I think he's mad at me. "

" Well just take your time... I'm sorry. I'm not much of help. "

" Ah.. it's okay. Thanks Yura. " I gave him a hug.

" Hey, that's what friends are for! " He hugged me back.

I walked back into the dorm where Chiharu and I shared. I found him sitting on my bed reading a book. I decided to start a conversation.

" Whatcha reading? " I sat down on the same bed he was on.

" Err... " He show me the cover.

_Guess you're not in the mood to talk._

I sighed heavily and mumbled something.

That's when Chiharu sprang up and threw a tantrum. " What! You have a problem with me! "

I jumped in surprised and back away from him.

" WHAT? YOU GOT A PROBLEM! "

" N-no. " I stammered. " Chiharu... "

" WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT! "

I tried to remain calm. " Why are you acting like this? It's unlike you. "

" What are you talking about! This is me! I'm not acting any different. Maybe it's you. " He growled and I jumped.

I had never seen Chiharu act like this. Or maybe he's right. Maybe he's not the one who changed, maybe it's me. But then again, Yura noticed the changed in Chiharu. I looked at him again and he went back to reading again.

" Eniwa-san? " I reached out to touch his arm.

" WHAT! " He slapped my hand out of the way.

" Oww... " Tears began to form.

" What the-- " He noticed my hand. He grunted and went inside the bathroom.

I don't think he cares for me anymore.  
My tears are coming out even more.  
He must **hate** me now.

_Oww... my chest._

Chiharu came out of the bathroom and all I could see was his feet.

" Give me your hand! " He demanded. " Damn it. "

" Huh? " I looked up.

" Argh! That hand! " He took my injured hand and started to bandage them.

" Wha-- "

" Shut up. " He snapped.

I closed my mouth immediately. I watched him work with my hands. He was quite gentle with them.

Wait a minute. What's with this sudden change in heart?  
One moment he's pissed and then the next he's so caring. Why?  
I looked at his face.  
It was nice and I felt like I was in love with him again.  
These emotions I can't control.

_It's so nice to look at Chiharu this way. He so hot and --..._

My thoughts were interrupted by him.

" Stop drooling! Ewww.. damn it. Clean that up! " Chiharu was frantically getting away from me.

Oh no.  
The distant thing again.  
I was too caught up in this distant stuff that I didn't notice the little pond of drool I was making.

**WHACK!**

My head came in contact with Chiharu's fist.

" OWWWWW! " I rubbed my head and looked at him.

He seemed like himself now.

" DAMN IT! Can't you hear a damn thing I say? Clean up the drool. It's disgusting! " He pointed.

" Huh? " I finally came back to reality. " OH MY GOD! I DID THAT! EWWWW! "

" YEAH! YOU BETTER CLEAN IT UP! " He tossed me a towel.

That night I spent cleaning the floor.


	4. The Special Moment

**A/N**: Chapter 4 is up. Thanks for the reviews tracee.

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**Chapter 4** - The Special Moment

I guess it was all my imagination.  
I was wrong.  
I'm sure Chiharu was Chiharu.  
I'm sure I was just imagining those stares.  
I think that the talk with Yura was fake too.

No, no, no.  
What am I thinking?  
I should slap myself.

Argh.. these _emotions_.

**I HATE THEM.**

Stop thinking this way and that.  
I'm getting more confused by the second.  
It hurts my head.  
I'm thinking too much.

Romance.  
It's a _feeling_ of love.  
It's something I want to _desire_.  
I want to feel my Chiharu wrap his big arms around me.  
Then we would roast marshmellows around a firecamp.  
The moon would be shining brightly above us and we would count the stars.  
That would be nice.  
But it would be a fantasy too.

Chiharu would never do that.

_When life give you apples, throw them at people._

The next day, it happened to me.  
Chiharu threw it at me.  
He said I was an idiot.  
I smiled at that comment.  
I couldn't help it.

He was so cute and different that day.

He was such an **angel**.

I sighed and Chiharu kept making sure I wasn't drooling this time.  
Hehe... he made me feel so giddy inside.  
I was _lovestruck_.  
Or so I thought.

The day after he went back to being quiet again.  
It bugged me.  
It made me squirm everytime I had to look at him.  
I wanted the _attention_ from him.  
He won't give it to me.  
I was disappointed.

" Hey, Anizawa. " He spoke though he still kept his eyes on his book.

" Mm? " I responded while I brushed my hair.

" Wanna go out tomorrow? Like dinner? "

" Wha--! " I dropped the brush and nearly fell to the floor.

" Go out to dinner with me, tomorrow? " He repeated not looking up from his reading.

I stared at him.  
It was hard for me to believe that he asked me that.

" What are you staring at! " He looked up from his reading.

" Umm.. nothing. No joke, right? " I came closer to his face to make sure he wasn't lying.

He backed off a bit and said, " Yeah. So what? No? Yes? "

" I have a hard time believing you. " I mumbled.

" What? "

" I said I have a hard time believing you. "

" Why is that? " He looked at me this time.

" Well because... you know. " I began to play with my fingers.

" I know what? "

" The thing. "

" What thing? Anizawa, you're starting to annoy me. " There was a irritated tone in his voice.

" Well, " I began to play with my hair, " I thought you said you weren't a good boyfriend and all and so I thought that you would never would've asked me out. "

" And? "

" Well that's it. "

" So? I asked you out once. What's not hard to believe? " He stared into my eyes.

" Umm.. " I could feel myself blush in front of him.

" Mm? " He was waiting for a response.

" Uhh.. I don't kn-- "

I was interrupted by a kiss on the cheek.

" I'm sorry I've been acting very weird lately. I had a lot of stress, that's all. I'm sorry. " He said as he stroke my cheek.

I knew I was red as a cherry.  
I couldn't turn away though.  
Chiharu kissed **me** on the cheek!  
I was most happy.  
He's so sweet too.  
Now I'm believing him.

" So believe me? " He started to read again.

" Yeah. I believe you this time. "

I smiled.

Tomorrow's gonna be a **special** day.


	5. Getting Excited

**Disclaimer: **See Chapter 1.

**A/N**: Sorry. Almost forgot I had this story.Thanks to **tracee** and **Gold Digger** for reviews. I really appreciate it that you guys read it.

I personally think that my stories aren't good but I'm glad that you guys enjoy reading it.  
I like to put little fluff things in it. Makes the story a bit cute, don't ya think?  
Thanks for the rating, GoldDigger. Guessing I'll have to try a bit harder.  
It gives me some motivation to write better. :

Ah.. yes. Also I might be doing some revising later on in the previous chapters.  
If I still get the same rating... well I'll revise it some more then.

Enjoy!

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**Chapter 5** - Getting Excited

The excitement rushed into my head and I couldn't control myself.  
Is this how all girls reacted when it came to dates?

Yes, indeed.  
It's sad.  
I have rarely been asked out.  
Chiharu was someone who meant most to me.  
So I feel excited most of the time.

"Oh boy, oh boy."

I could hardly stay put.  
As if I was high on sugar.

**Chiharu and Aniziwa Eniwa.**

I fantasied our marriage.  
Ahh.. maybe I'll even name our kids.  
Ayame and ...

"**HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?**!"

I knew that voice and turn around. "CHIHAR---!"

I got whack with a pillow.

"You idiot! You made a mess everywhere." Eniwa ran his hand through his hair.

He had shorts and a white shirt on. _Looks like he came out of the shower._

"Do you know even what time it is?" He scolded.

I was so happy that I didn't understand what he was saying.  
All I could hear was...

_"Aniziwa, I think I'm starting to love you."_

"**HEY ANIZIWA!** ITS FREAKING 8:00 IN THE MORNING AND LOOK AT THE MESS YOU MADE!"

I snapped back to reality.  
_Woah.. I guess I did make a mess._

Pillows and blankets scattered across the room.  
Books were thrown around everywhere.  
Papers were still flying in mid-air.  
Clothes were taken out of their drawers.

Oh, what's this?  
A pair of boxers?

"Give me that!" Eniwa who was beet red grabbed his boxers and threw them in the pamper.

I blushed. "Sorry, I got excited."

"Well don't do it anymore." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

I plopped down on the bed and made it again.  
I placed the books and clothes back again.

Chiharu _even_ helped me.

I was happy.  
We got it done at 8:30 and then we had to get to class.  
Me, still pretending to be a boy, had to go to practice today.  
Damn practice. I have an important date to go to.

We walked to class and took our seats. The teacher called out our names while we answered with a "here" or "present." The day went by slowly and I was getting eager by the second. Chiharu seemed to become distant again. It's probably because of me.

At 3:00 in the afternoon, I met up with Chiharu and he smiled.

"You shouldn't get too excited, ya know?" He whispered.

"I'm sorry."

"You're always sorry "

"Hey you guys! Ready for practice." Hamaya was catching up with us.

"Yeah." We said in unison.

We chatted and laughed our way there.

I was sweating after practicing.  
I worked so hard today that I must stunk the worst.

"Hey Kyo!" Yura waved over.

"Hey Kensuke!" I smiled gleefully.

"So... I heard you guys are eating together." He whispered.

"Yeah. How'd you know?" I whispered back.

"Eniwa actually told me."

"He did?"

"Yeah. I didn't think he'd tell me."

"Yeah neither did I. I guess he's changing."

"Changing, eh?" He wiped the sweat off his face with a towel.

Well I think so," I responded, remembering about the kiss.

"I see." He smiled. "I hope it goes well for you two."

"Thanks." I slammed him a high-five.

"Later." He waved.

Love is a funny word.  
Meant for many reasons.  
Like the word confused.  
Love can confuse people a lot.  
I am one of those people who are confused about love.  
But I am one of the few that when it comes to love I understand it fully and will cherish it.

5:30 PM.  
Just finish blow drying my hair.  
I sighed.  
My hair hasn't grown as much as I thought.  
Guess I'll have to go with the wig again.  
This time straighten.  
I adjusted my wig and smiled.  
Today was going to be perfect.

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**A/N**: Okay. I think this one was shorter. I'm trying to make the chapters longer but I'm having writer's block right now.  
Please wait a little longer, I'll make sure that Chapter 6 will come out within two weeks or so.  
Depends on school work. School driving me nuts!

Anyways, please review.  
I'd like to hear what you think about this chapter. :


	6. Eniwa's POV

**A/N: **Thanks for waiting. The point of views change in this one. I'm kind of having a writer's block on things that happen after the date and all. Hope you guys can wait and see what happens during the date. It'll take me awhile until the next chapter too.

I don't think that my chapters are even getting longer. If you guys could give me some suggestions on the date scene, I'd really appreciate it. Writer's block is _killing_ me.

Please enjoy this chapter for now! Thank you. :

**

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Chapter 6 **

- **Chiharu Eniwa's POV**

I can't believe it.  
She came back.

Who, you ask?

Well... my **ex-girlfriend**.

It's a bright blue day.  
It's a perfect day.  
I'm thinking about Aniziwa.  
I'm always thinking about her.  
How cute she is, how she smiled and how she's outgoing.  
Or odd... I guess.

I'm currently lying under a tree.  
No school today, no practice today.  
It's perfect. No distractions from my thinking.  
I felt kind of bad to leave Aniziwa alone in the dorm though.  
I wish it was her right next to me.  
I smiled at that thought.  
Then I'd probably play with her hair.

_I'm dreaming._

I laughed to myself.

_Sniff... sniff..._

"Huh?" I looked up.

There was a lady sitting in a bench, crying.  
I cocked my head to the side and sat up.

"cuse me?" I started, "Are you al---?"

I froze.  
The instant she turned and looked at me.  
It felt as though my heart wouldn't start beating.

_Shit... _

I felt concerned and yet horrified.  
I felt my temperature rise.  
I clenched my fists and then...

"Chiharu!"

She ran up and embraced me.  
I couldn't do anything.  
My reflexes were too fast for me to control and...

**I embraced her too**.

_Aniziwa...  
_

_**Back at the dorm--- POV switched.**_

"Hey Yura!" Hamaya waved.

"Hey!" I replied.

"Is there any relationship going on between Eniwa and Aniziwa?" He swung his arm around my neck.

"What! You thinking they're gay!" I jumped.

He backed off a little. "Umm... maybe?"

I laughed my head off. _Eniwa's the last person I'd think who's gay._

"Y-you wish..." I managed to choke out.

"What! I'm not GAY!" He shouted.

"Who's gay?" The captain came in.

"Uhh... no one." Hamaya exclaimed.

"Hamaya is." I snickered.

"What!" The captain jumped.

"No I'm not!" Hamaya became furious and chased me around the building.

We ditched the captain and ran until we became tired.

"Al-alright Yura... better... apologize to... me." Hamaya, now on his knees, panted.

"Hell no." I stuck my tongue out.

_Deedeedeedumdeedeedeedum..._

"Huh?" I blanked out for a moment. "Oh!"

I quickly reached down to my pocket and took out my phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Yura. I need to ask you something."

"Sure."

"Who's there with you?"

"Hamaya."

"Let's go on a little vacation, just the three of us..."

"Huh?"

"Just for a week."

"Why?"

"I just want to. Need to take a break away from here."

"Eniwa... something wrong?"

"No need to worry about me. See you tomorrow at 9:00 at your dorm."

"Huh? Eni--"

_Click._

_What's up with him?_

**Back to Eniwa's POV**

I hung up on Yura.  
I had a little feeling of guilt when I did that.  
It wasn't like me.

The vacation wasn't planned.  
It was too sudden.  
The guys will think I'm up to something.  
What will I do?

But I know one thing.  
It's to get out of here.  
I need to clear my head right now.

_Aniziwa… I'm sorry._

I'm not there when you need me.  
You're always there when I need you.  
But this time you weren't there.  
And I'm relieved.

If you saw me hug her, you'd never talk to me again.  
I would kill myself if you were there.

Just one week.  
Wait for me for just one week…

…**Aniziwa**.


	7. The Vacation

**Disclaimer: **See Chapter 1.

Enjoy the next chapter!

**

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**

**Chapter 7** - The Vacation

Aizawa, I wish I could've said goodbye to you before I left but you weren't in the dorm. So I left a note.

_Aizawa.  
__I'm leaving. Just for a week. _

I wasn't much of a letter writer.  
And I'll never be.

_Goodbye.  
_

**Day 3** of the " vacation. "  
**Yura's POV**

_Why's this trip all of a sudden?_

I'm trailing behind Eniwa and Hamaya is trailing behind me.  
We were hiking up a hill. This is what you call a vacation, eh?

"Wait up guys!" Hamaya called out.

I looked behind me and Hamaya was sprawled out on the ground, tired.  
I looked ahead of me and Eniwa was continuing to walk up.

"Hey Eniwa!" I hollered.

He kept going up.

_Is he deaf?_

"Hey Eniwa!" I ran up to catch up to him. "Hey! What are you doing?"

"Huh?" He looked at me.

_His eyes...  
_He looks to calm.  
I kind of freaked out.

"Umm... Hamaya wants a break."

He looked behind me to see panting Hamaya lying on the ground. "Oh. Sorry."

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked.

"Huh? Oh yeah. I'm great." He responded.

I stared at him.  
He's not acting like himself.  
He sat down and sighed.  
Definitely not himself.

_Is it about Aizawa?  
_

**Eniwa's POV**

_Okay. Once this hike is over then I'll tell the guys... wait no, Yura, I'll tell Yura.  
__Hamaya's gonna just blurt everything out, so I'll tell Yura.  
__Yup. I'll tell him._

REWIND-----  
_Back at the park_.

"Chiharu!"

She wrapped her arms around me.  
My reflexes caught her and I wrapped my arms around her.

_Shit..._

"Oh Chiharu-san... I'm so..." She trailed off whispering to herself.

"Hitomi..." That was all I could say.

".. Chiharu, do you... mi-miss me?" She was still crying.

No comment.  
What was I suppose to say?  
I was with Aizawa.  
No. I **am** with Aizawa.  
I am always.

"... Chiharu?" She questioned.

I still held her in my arms.  
My mind told me not to let go.  
My heart told me to let go.

_Aizawa..._

Should I be happy that she's here?  
Should I be angry? Or sad?

"Chiharu... you don't miss me do you?" She looked at me this time.

Her hands clenched my shirt tighter.  
Her eyes were filled with sorrow.  
I felt pain in my eyes.  
I must've loved her so much back then.  
I looked away from her.

"I'm sorry." I bit my lower lip.

_Damnit. Why does it have to be you?  
__Why don't you just disappear?  
__Why don't I disappear?  
__Why am I stuck in a situation like this?_

I'm so confused.

"I still love you, Chiharu. Please understand that."

I stared at her.  
I started to boil.

_No. You don't! Don't tell me that!_

"You liar! Just shut up!" I screamed.

"But it's the truth!" She wailed.

I shoved her aside. "You liar! Go home! I don't want to see you anymore!"

I clenched my fists.  
I want you to suffer like I did.

"Chiharu... I lov—"

"I said shut up! I hate you! I hate you and your guts!" I turned away, unable to look at her.

"But... I was force to leave you." She explained.

I flinched. "You're lying."

"No I'm not. My dad threatened me."

"Then why did you kiss** him**?"

* * *

**A/N: **Cliffhanger. Just had to put one. Just to inform you people, not the father but another man. 

Next chapter will be soon up.


End file.
